Willy’s Wonderland review – nowhere near as fun as it should be

Willy’s Wonderland is a movie that wonders whether Nicolas Cage’s singular, indefinable schtick still works if he doesn’t utter a single word. In this throwback of a film from director Kevin Lewis, the Wicker Man star plays a drifter known only as “The Janitor,” who's forced to clean up the haunted establishment of the title – a rundown kids' entertainment centre packed to the brim with busted, sentient animatronics – in order to pay for his car to be fixed.

But Cage's presence will only get you so far. A movie needs more than the mere suggestion of a good time to actually be one, something tangible to ground the hamminess in. For all the self-aware schlock, retro vibes, and nods to Sam Raimi on display here, Willy's Wonderland never gets the pulse racing, or inspires a laugh. It doesn't help that it feels designed to be a cult film as though by an algorithm – a process that seems to ensure it won't become one.

As Cage slogs it out with various metallic critters, splashing heaps of oil in the process, a group of irritating teens turn up – designated lambs for the slaughter. But the fight scenes are sub-par and the action is unmemorable, lacking flair or inspired choreography, while the deaths are made to look cheap and feckless. One impromptu dance sequence in which Cage claps and wiggles his head to a synth track, chugging on special brand soda, suggests a far more entertaining film than the one we actually get. Meanwhile, the animatronics themselves are no more interesting than the one-dimensional humans.

Cage's silent treatment gets old real fast, too. While the conceit of having him say nothing at first feels like an intriguing hook, you quickly realise just how important his bizarro line-deliveries and twisted facial expressions are to a movie of this sort – or any movie. With zero one-liners at his disposal to break up the samey showdowns, everything blurs into one.

Willy's Wonderland quickly comes to seem as tired as the dilapidated building in which it takes place: a relic struggling to find any reason to exist. By the end it feels less like something Cage did for pleasure, more like an opportunity to make a quick buck (“I don't even have to talk?”). It speaks volumes that the most satisfying part of the whole experience is genuinely watching him clean down grotty surfaces and wipe grime from the walls.

Willy's Wonderland is now available on various digital platforms.