Men in Black: International review – a formulaic waste of space

The idea of using Chris Hemsworth’s undeniable comic chops to inject some life into an ailing franchise isn’t necessarily a bad one. Especially if the franchise already has a light-hearted appeal, operates on an intergalactic scale, and offers nearly limitless creative possibilities. Yet Men in Black: International, the fourth entry in this now two-decade-old series, neither works as a sequel, reboot, or Hemsworth comedy vehicle. It also fails in the three basic principles that make a blockbuster like this worth the price of admission, in that it lacks wit, solid action sequences, and likeable characters.

International very nearly finds its one likeable character in Tessa Thompson’s plucky wannabe agent, Molly, who – after experiencing a strange event in her childhood with an alien – sets out on an obsessive quest to track down the MiB. She’s convinced there’s a secret organisation protecting the world from extraterrestrial threat, and she’s right. Before long Molly has been made a probationary agent, sent overseas, and paired with Hemsworth’s swaggering Agent “H.” Together they must prevent the end of the world at the hands (uh, tentacles?) of an alien race called “The Hive.” Cue the endless Neuralyzer gags.

As the duo hop between London, Paris, and Marrakech (“International,” geddit?), partaking in sloppy action sequences that lack urgency or coherence, there’s a lingering sense of deja vu. The arrogant charisma that made Hemsworth so appealing as Thor doesn’t fly here; he just seems arrogant, oddly miscast. It also doesn’t help that his character isn’t given a single funny thing to say, or that his “banter” with Molly feels like filler dialogue from a first draft. Even Emma Thompson and Liam Neeson, who pop up as MiB heads, can’t save the day: “phoned in” feels like an understatement. Try sleepwalking.

Given this is an MiB film, there are some mildly entertaining alien moments, though bitesize sidekick Pawny – voiced by Kumail Nanjiani – is so irksome he gives Jar Jar Binks a run for his money. International also comes with a built-in twist so obvious you spend much of the runtime convinced the writers are messing with you. Nope: things pan out exactly as you’d expect, not a diversion from formula in sight. Perhaps the strangest thing, though, is how dated it all feels. There’s no sense this film was made recently; no attempt to infuse it with current trends or characters who act and talk like they’re from today. Instead we get a blockbuster that feels dragged through a wormhole circa 2005.

What anonymous director F. Gary Gray (who helmed the far better Fate of the Furious) does manage rather well is the tone. At the very least, International looks and feels like a Men in Black movie, though this only really ends up serving as a nostalgia-inducer for the original Men in Black. That film, with its two inimitable lead performances, packed dozens of brilliant one-liners and memorable scenes into a tight, funny, and very watchable flick. Trust me when I say you won’t need the help of a Neuralyzer to wipe this one from your memory.