The Super Mario Bros. Movie review – doesn’t leave mushroom for originality

In 1993 Nintendo gave their blessing for Hollywood to adapt their iconic game franchise to the big screen, inadvertently birthing what was quickly deemed one of the worst movies of all time. Super Mario Bros. deviated so far from the source material that, had its makers claimed to have never played the games, you'd have believed them. The result was a nightmarish, snot-covered Blade Runner riff starring Bob Hoskins and Dennis Hopper – yet in hindsight, the movie feels closer to a fascinating folly than an outright failure, a demented sci-fi yarn that is baffling but not entirely without merit. It was, in its own weird way, kind of original.

Now, animation studio Illumination (of Minions fame) take the reins for The Super Mario Bros. Movie, supposedly correcting whatever mistakes were made during that first attempt by piling on the reverence. But their movie hews so closely to the simple lore of the video games that it makes the 1993 film look like a work of mad genius. This is a movie that genuinely wonders whether it can get away with having absolutely no story at all, unashamedly smashing together set-pieces from an array of iconic Nintendo games, including Mario Kart, Donkey Kong, and everything in-between.

Each of the movie's big sequences are, in their own way, fun to watch and visually appealing – especially a later one inspired by the antics of Mario Kart's Rainbow Road. But the movie makes a fatal mistake in assuming that everyone has grown up with the Mario franchise being drip-fed into their veins, serving up an endless parade of references and in-jokes (though the word “joke” implies there is something clever or funny about them) intended to make well-versed gamers say that's the thing from the thing, but which will make little sense to newcomers. For everyone, it will prove exhausting.

Elsewhere, Illumination fall into easy trappings and outright laziness, which feels in direct opposition to Nintendo’s usual high standards. Is there any way to drain out enthusiasm for an animated movie faster than placing a generic pop hit over the action? The Super Mario Bros. Movie does this at least four times – and one of the songs is A-ha's “Take on Me.” While Brian Tyler's score – remixing much of Koji Kondo's iconic game music – occasionally rouses, the voice acting varies from serviceable to downright sleepy. Chris Pratt is Mario, but he is not Mario. Charlie Day is wasted as Luigi. Jack Black is well-cast and actually making an effort as the villainous Bowser – but all the characters embody one mood, or a single personality trait. Luigi is scared. Peach is the (shock) gender-flipped badass princess… there's an unmistakable whiff of 2011 about it all.

The pace zips along, and the film is – thankfully – never exactly boring, but the product is hinged entirely on a script that is first draft basic, while the one-liners… well, it would be nice if there actually were any. For a movie directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, who helmed the genuinely witty Teen Titans Go! To the Movies, and coming in the wake of other successfully meta-minded animated flicks, one might have expected a lot more self-awareness to see us through, à la The Lego Movie. Instead, all traces of humour seem to have been paved over with temporary stand-in lines that writer Matthew Fogel (who penned the far smarter Lego Movie 2) then forgot to fill in.

There is detail and clear affection for the source material in the design, look, and feel. And admittedly, Mario fans will likely find some ASMR-like appeal in the satisfying rhythms and sound effects, especially in the sequences made to replicate those early side-scrolling games. But in the end you want to play this, not watch it. Funny that. Chalk that up as a success for the makers – go out and buy more games! But most viewers will be left twiddling their thumbs in an entirely different way than they're used to when it comes to Mario.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is released in UK cinemas on 5 April.